Afraid To Love
by Rainman
Summary: Heero is having dreams about Relena's death. Could this mean that if he gets to close to the woman he loves that she'll die?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing and Co. They belong to Bandai and Sunrise. This story is for entertainment purposes only. I am not making a profit from it.

Afraid to Love

Written by: Ra|nMan

Chapter One

"What's that noise, what's going on?" Heero awoke to the startled questions of Relena and the deafening echo of the alarm. "It's the Preventers alarm," he stated calmly, "but who would be foolish enough to attack the earth now?" he added. "I have to get to head quarters, Zechs will be needing me." "Don't go Heero. I die every time you go into battle. I know that you are strong, and an excellent pilot and fighter but I can't help thinking that maybe you won't be coming back from this battle." Relena's voice quivered with fear and emotional distress at the thought of losing Heero. A silent tear fell from her eye and rolled down her cheek where Heero caught it on his finger, wiped it away, then raised her eyes to his and said, "Don't worry about me. The one thing that keeps me alive is knowing that I'm fighting to keep you and my friends safe. As long as I have you to come home to I'll make it back some how, and that's a promise." And with that he kissed her softly, dressed, and walked out of the room. Heero ran from the mansion, jumped in his car, turned the key, slammed it in to gear, and sped off towards the Preventers HQ. He had only gone about a mile down the road when he heard the all too familiar sound of missiles shooting over head. He screeched the car to a stop and searched the sky. Then he saw what he was looking for. Five missiles were tearing through the night sky and going straight in the direction of……..THE PEACECRAFT MANSION. 'Oh No, RELENA!' Heero spun the car in the road and flew back home. When he arrived he found that the whole south wing was gone and the rest of the mansion was ablaze in a terrible fire. "RELENA!" he shouted as he jumped out of the car and ran for the front door. "RELENA!" Then he saw her lying face down in the grass five feet from the side door to their room. He rushed to her, kneeling at her head and cradling it in his arms. "Relena, speak to me, please be ok. Don't die on me! You're all I have in this world. You are my life, if I lose you I don't know if I could go on living." But Heero's words were all in vain, for Relena's body hung lifeless in his arms. While Heero's forehead rested on Relena's he lost it. The tears came and he couldn't stop them**_._** 'If only I had been here she wouldn't have died. This is all my fault.' "RELENA! NOOOOO……….."

19 year old Heero Yuy awoke very suddenly and violently from his dream. His heart was racing and he was covered in a cold sweat. What does this mean? Why do I keep dreaming about Relena's death? Is this a sign telling me that if I get too close to her that she'll die? Night after sleepless night he had been dreaming of the same thing. He didn't know what it meant or why he kept dreaming it over and over. It was never the same dream but it was always about the same thing, the death of his secret love Relena Peacecraft. He had never told anyone about his feelings for Relena and had only admitted it to himself less than a year ago. Ever since that fateful day on the beach when they first met he had told himself that she must be killed. She knew his identity and was a risk to his mission. But he could never do it. It was hard for Heero to compensate the fact that he cared for her seeing as he had been trained to only think about his mission and that nothing was to compromise it. He constantly toiled with the idea that he was in love with Relena. In the end his feelings won out and he kept it inside hiding it even from his only friends, and fellow Gundam pilots, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and WuFei. Heero had not seen any of them in over a year. He had left them all and set out to live away from the only people that cared about him and who were the only ones he truly cared about. Heero had told them all that he needed time and space to himself to sort every thing out after the war had ended and had never contacted them since. He longed for their company once again but didn't know what to say to them. 'What if they don't accept me back? I have been gone a long time and they have all probably moved on with their lives not giving a second thought as to what I was doing.'But Heero was dead wrong. They had all been greatly affected by his leaving, and the one most affected was none other than his secret love, Relena Peacecraft. In the cold and bitter month of November, Heero finally made up his mind to rejoin his comrades. 'Alright. This is it. I've been gone for a year and a half but I can't stay away not knowing if I've been forgotten.**' **Trowa and Catherine had gone to live with Quatre at his palace in the desert somewhere in Arabia. Heero would visit them first, seeing as they were the closest destination. Tired and weary from his travel Heero swung the large doorknocker and waited. The door opened and Quatre stood in the doorway. He looked like he was about to cry. Finally, when he had composed himself, he spoke. "We had almost given up all hope on you ever returning to us, Heero." His face lit up with that smile that Quatre always got when he was with his fellow Gundam pilots. "You look exhausted Heero. Why don't you come in and rest. When you've rested up a bit you can join Catharine, Trowa and me in the dining room for dinner. It will be ready in about an hour, so you have time to relax." "Thanks Quatre. Have you kept in touch with the others?" "Yes, of course I have. In fact they will all be here in a few weeks to celebrate the holidays. I have invited them all out for the remainder of the holiday season. I even sent some of my men to look for you as well. But since you are already here I can call them back home to be with their families for the holidays. But enough talk for now, there will be plenty of time for that. You should rest now from your long travel. I'll have one of my men wake you for dinner." With that said, Quatre rang a small bell to his right in the entrance hall. Two men appeared from behind him, bowed and said together, "You rang, Master Quatre?" "Yes, please show Heero to one of the guestrooms. Draw up a bath for him and place his things in one of the dressers." They bowed again and motioned for Heero to follow them. They led him down the marble-floored corridors of the palace finally stopping at one of the doors. Heero paid no attention to the servants and slumped onto the bed completely exhausted. Seconds later he was fast asleep. Mean while Quatre had gone to his study immediately to call Relena to tell her that Heero was there. "Hello, Relena? This is Quatre. Yes I'm doing just fine. Listen, I have great news for you. I called as soon as he got here. Yes that's correct. Heero has finally come back. I'm not sure how he is. I told him to rest up before we talked any. My men tell me he's already fast asleep in his room. So does this change your mind about my invitation? I thought it might. How soon can you get here? Great. I'll await your arrival in two days. Don't worry, I won't say a word to Heero about your coming. See you soon Relena." 'Finally, after all of our efforts those two will finally get together.' Unknown to Heero and Relena, Quatre and the others had been working over the past year to find Heero and bring the two lovers together. They all had assumptions that Heero and Relena were in fact in love and had taken it upon themselves to unite the two of them.

  
Chapter 2  


Please let me know what u think of the story and whether or not I should keep writing more.  
Please contact me at mmileusnich@yahoo.com with comments and concerns


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing and Co. They belong to Bandai and Sunrise. This story is for entertainment purposes only. I am not making a profit from it.

Afraid to Love

Written by: Ra|nMan

Chapter Two

Just as Quatre had informed Heero, he was woken about an hour later by one of Quatre's servants and told that dinner would be in five minutes in the dining room. Refreshed from his quick sleep Heero washed up and walked to the dining room to join the others. Heero entered the great hall that Quatre called a "dining room". In the center of the hall was a vast table made out of beautiful rose colored oak. Heero slowly took in the entire room, marveling at its vastness and beautiful tapestries. He then noticed that Catherine and Trowa were already seated at the far end of the table absorbed in conversation, and hadn't noticed Heero had entered the hall. "It's been a long time Trowa," he said walking over to them. "Indeed it has my friend. A lot has changed over the past year but you don't look a bit different." Trowa got up and embraced Heero. "I believe you remember Catherine?" Heero smiled and replied, "Of course I do. How could I forget a pretty face like that." He then took Catherine's hand and gently kissed it. "My Heero, you have changed," giggled Catherine. "I never knew you to be such a charmer," she said, smiling up at him. As Heero lowered her hand he noticed a wedding ring. "So, Trowa, when are you going to tell me the good news?" he asked. "Huh?" Trowa looked slightly confused at this statement. Then his face broke into a wide smile. "That's right," he laughed. "May I formally introduce you to Mrs. Catherine Barton." Catherine blushed at these words, and smiled up at Trowa. "So how long have you two been married?" Heero asked. "Eight months to the day." "Wow. That's quite a while. I'm happy for you two." Heero paused for a moment, trying to think of what to say next. He was just about to ask Trowa if he had been in contact with Relena over the past year and how she was doing, when Quatre entered the hall. "Sorry I'm late everyone. I had a very important call that I had to take. I hope the three of you have taken the time to catch up." Quatre said all of this in a rush. "No need to apologize Quatre," Heero said, "It gave Trowa, Catherine and me time to do some much needed catching up." "Wonderful," replied Quatre, "now if you three are ready I'll have dinner served." "Great! I'm starving," answered Trowa. The dinner was fantastic. Heero didn't remember when the last time was that he had had a meal that wonderful. He was absolutely stuffed. "That was an excellent meal, Quatre. You really know how to treat your guests." Heero commented. "Thank you Heero. But it was really no trouble at all. I'm just glad that my friends are here to share it with me." Quatre smiled at them after these words. There was a brief pause in the conversation and then Heero turned to Quatre and asked, "Quatre, how's Relena doing?" Heero asked this so suddenly that Quatre, Trowa, and Catherine were all a bit stunned. "Relena?" Quatre said quite cautiously. "She's doing well. I haven't spoken to her in weeks though, and she never replied to my invitation. I'm hoping that maybe she just forgot to send a reply and will show up in the next two weeks." Heero's heart dropped and his eyes fell from the group at this statement. From the moment that Quatre had told him that he had invited everyone out for the holidays he had been telling himself that he would be seeing Relena soon. Now to find out that she might not be coming…….'She has to come,'he thought. 'I need to see her so I can get this off my chest so that maybe I can sleep again at night.' "I don't mean to be rude, but I think I'll turn in. I'm still quite exhausted from my journey. See you tomorrow.' And with that Heero got up from the table and headed to his room. "I never would have dreamed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes," exclaimed Trowa. "That's the closest I've ever seen Heero come to actually showing emotions, especially towards Relena." "He's in for a big surprise," said Quatre triumphantly. Quatre had a gleam in his eye and a small grin started to form on his face. "I called and spoke with Relena as soon as Heero arrived. She will arrive here in two days." "You're kidding?!" shouted Catherine. "No, I am far from it," Quatre re-ushered them. "It's time those two finally got together, even if it means a little prodding in the right direction by us." The grin on Quatre's face had now broke into a smile, and was soon joined by the matching smiles on the faces of Catherine and Trowa. "Quatre, you amaze even me sometimes." Quatre's smile grew even lager at this remark and was now spread from ear to ear. "Why thank you Trowa." That night, after everyone was asleep, something very unexpected happened. As Heero tossed and turned in bed, his thoughts again turned to Relena. Then as if a time bomb had gone off in his brain, that all too familiar dream sequence started again. As it progressed, Heero began to talk in his sleep, as if responding to what he saw in the dream sequence. "No, don't go out there," he mumbled. He started to toss and turn more violently as the dreams intensity grew and headed towards its cataclysmic end. "No! Relena!" he said a little more loudly. And then it happened as always. The Relena in his dream was murdered right in front of his own eyes in such a way that it seemed so real. His mind sparked causing him to scream out, "NO! RELENA!" He awoke with a jolt and sprang upright in bed, heart pounding, and his breathing fast and shallow. He looked around the room and realizing where he was finally told himself, 'It was just a dream. It was just a dream.' He put his head in his hands and rested his elbows on his knees and just sat there shaking from the vision. Then all of a sudden the door burst open and Quatre, Trowa, and Catherine rushed in. All three of them were a little short of breath and had concerned looks on their faces. "Heero, are you alright?" Catherine finally asked. 'We heard screams and wanted to check on you." added Quatre. "Yes, I'm fine," Heero replied dryly. But the look on Heero's face told them otherwise. "Are you sure you're ok?" Trowa cautiously asked again. "I said I'm fine," retorted Heero. "It was just a bad dream, that's all. Now all of you stop worrying about me and go back to bed." "Heero, we're not trying to force you to tell us anything, but that doesn't change the fact that we do worry about our friends when they wake us up with screams in the middle of the night," Quatre stated calmly. Heero sighed. "I appreciate your concern Quatre, but it really was nothing more than a really vivid, bad dream. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to try and get some more sleep, and I suggest that the three of you do the same. I'm not trying to be rude, I just don't feel like discussing this right now." "That's perfectly alright Heero," replied Quatre. "Yeah, we'll let ya get back to sleep now," added Catherine. And with that, Quatre, Trowa, and Catherine left Heero alone in the room. 'Why am I coming unglued now? This is just what I don't need. They'll never understand what's going on, so it's best if I just don't tell them.' Heero sat on the bed and thought about everything that was running through his head for the longest time before finally drifting off into a deep, dreamless sleep. The next day went by quick and uneventful for the most part. Heero quickly associated himself with the grounds surrounding the palace. This was quite a task as the grounds were rather large. This proved to be a great help to Heero in the end for it wore him out so much that he slipped straight into a deep sleep and never once had the chance to dream about Relena. Little did he know that as he was exploring, Relena was packing her things for her departure to Quatre's. The next morning Heero felt refreshed and alert like never before after a well-needed rest. At that very moment hundreds of miles away on a private jet, Relena Peacecraft was waking up and thinking about the one person that she was traveling half way across the globe to see, Heero Yuy. In four hours time the two of them would reunite for the first time in a year and a half. It was the moment that Relena had been praying forever since the day that Heero walked out of her life for what she thought was for good, and the moment that Heero secretly yearned for in his heart.

  
Chapter 3  


Please let me know what u think of the story and whether or not I should keep writing more.  
Please contact me at mmileusnich@yahoo.com with comments and concerns


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing and Co. They belong to Bandai and Sunrise. This story is for entertainment purposes only. I am not making a profit from it.

Afraid to Love

Written by: Ra|nMan

Chapter Three

Finally Relena's plane touched down at the airfield on the far side of Quatre's estate. Back inside the palace a plan that had been hatched by Quatre was being put into action. All of the workers were to ignore the doorbell and to make sure that Heero was the one who finally answered the door. This was all easier said than done, for Heero kept trying to disappear off onto the grounds some where to lose himself in thought without having to explain any of it to his friends. Quatre finally made up the excuse that he needed his men to do some extensive grounds work in preparation for the rest of his guests that would be arriving in the next couple of weeks, and asked Heero if he wouldn't mind staying inside for awhile in case there were any early arrivals. Heero bought the story and said he would. While this was taking place inside, a few a Quatre's men were helping to unload Relena's luggage from the plane and onto a carrier to take it into the palace though one of the underground passages to keep Heero from getting suspicious. As Heero relaxed in the one of the vast sitting rooms, Relena made her way up to the house. She was nervous, but also overjoyed at the thought of seeing Heero again at last. When she reached the front door, she hesitated for a moment, then rang the doorbell. Heero jumped at the sound emitted from the chimes. Then realizing it was just the doorbell, he went to see who could be showing up at this time. Looking through the eye whole on the door, he practically fell over at the sight. His heart jumped and lodged itself in his throat. 'It's RELENA! What is she doing here? I can't see her looking like this!' Heero had been out exploring all morning before Quatre had been able to get him to stay back and listen for the door. 'I don't believe it! Quatre set me up! He knew that she would be coming and that's why he asked me to stay back! That sneaky little son of a gun!' But the realization in the matter was that Heero had no choice but to open the door. He turned the lock and slowly opened the door. "Can I help you?" Heero asked, pretending that he didn't know that Relena was standing there. "Heero, it's me, Relena," she said in a soft tone. "O my God! Relena! What are you doing here?" Heero said. "I was just about to ask you the same thing. I never expected you to be here, let alone answer the door," Relena replied. They stood there for a while in silence, neither one knowing what to say. Finally Heero started to laugh which made Relena a bit confused. "Why are you laughing Heero?" she asked. "I just realized that I never even invited you in yet and that we've been standing out here for half an hour already," he answered. "I just found that rather funny. So, why don't you come in, and we'll continue this in the sitting room." Relena then laughed at the idea that she had been standing there for that amount of time just staring at Heero without even saying any thing. "That sounds wonderful Heero," she said. Heero picked up the few bags she had carried with her and brought them inside. He left them by the door for Quatre's men to take to Relena's room later and then led Relena into the sitting room. "It's been a long time since I last saw you Heero," Relena stated. "How have you been doing?" "I've been alright," he replied, knowing that this was a complete lie, for he had been far from alright. With the dreams and the lack of sleep he had been a mess ever since he left her that day almost two years ago. Something about the way that Heero had said this to her made Relena believe otherwise but she didn't say anything just yet. They talked for about another hour or so and then as the conversation was beginning to come to and end Heero said something that completely shocked Relena. "Relena, I have something that I need to tell you." Heero started. But he was never able to finish that thought for at that very moment Quatre, Trowa, and Catherine entered the room. "I see that you two have wasted no time in getting caught up," Quatre said as he walked across the room to where Heero and Relena were seated. "It's so nice to finally see you again Relena. How have you been?" "I've been well Quatre, thank you, it's nice to see you again, too." she replied. "So Trowa I hear that you and Catherine finally got married. Congratulations." "Thank you Relena," said Trowa. "We would have invited you to the wedding but it was a bit spontaneous and we've just been so busy that I haven't had the time to send a letter to everyone to tell them about it." "That's quite all right Trowa. I'm just glad to see that you're happy." Relena glanced over at Heero as she said this but turned away quickly as his eyes met hers. Quatre finally broke the awkward silence that had come over the room at that point. "Why don't we all go grab a bite to eat," he said. "I don't know about the rest of you but I'm starving. We can continue our conversation in the dinning room." "That sounds like a wonderful idea Quatre," agreed Heero all too easily. And with that he got up and headed for the dinning room. 'Why did Quatre have to show up at that exact moment? The longer this gets put off the harder it will be to finally do it. I don't know how much longer I can stand this pressure.' All through dinner Heero remained silent. The others tried to get him to join in their conversation but he didn't seem interested. "Heero what's wrong?" Relena asked. "You haven't said a word all night. Is something the matter?" "No I'm fine," he replied flatly. "I just don't have much to say I guess." But the others knew that wasn't the case. Heero was avoiding talking all together for some reason, but they didn't know why. Then suddenly, without warning, Heero got up to leave. "If you don't mind, I think I'll turn in for the evening," Heero said reluctantly. "I'm still not as caught up on sleep as I'd like to be." With that he left them and headed for his room. Relena got up and headed after him and was about to be followed by Trowa and Catherine when Quatre stopped them. "They need to be left alone for now," he said. "I believe that we may have interrupted something important earlier and now would be a good time for them to continue." Startled at how calmly he said this, they just stared at him for a minuet, but then agreed quietly. Out in the hall, Relena ran after Heero. "Heero, what's the matter? Why won't you talk to me?" "Nothing is wrong. I'm fine really," he answered. "Then why won't you talk to me?" Relena questioned. "You said that there was something you wanted to tell me, so now that you have the chance why don't you." "Oh, that!" Heero said with a laugh. "It was nothing really. Just forget that I brought it up ok?" "If it was really nothing then why won't you tell me?!" Relena looked as if she was about to cry. Then she just turned and walked away. 'Dammit! Why can't I just tell her how I feel?! Why am I so afraid to let myself fall in love? There can't be any truth in those dreams, can there? No, I don't believe it. I won't believe it.' Heero didn't sleep well that night. He kept replaying the day's events over and over again in his head. Even though these thoughts tormented him through the night he was saved from having another nightmare about Relena. Tired from his restless night of sleep, or lack thereof, Heero groggily walked down to the dinning room for an early breakfast. Hoping that no one else was there, Heero stopped at the door listen for other people. Hearing no one inside, he walked in and headed towards the kitchen. Unknown to Heero, Relena was already there helping the kitchen staff get breakfast ready. Walking into the kitchen, Heero greeted the cooks in his usual way by ordering his breakfast. "Ok guys, I'll want two eggs over easy, three slices of bacon, two pieces of toast golden brown and lightly buttered, and a bowl of raisin bran. Don't worry about the milk and juice, I'll get it myself." He said all this as he walked to the fridge and got out some milk and juice. "And you think that we're just going to stop what we're making now and start on your order?" Heero practically dropped his milk and juice at the sound of this voice. It was forceful in tone, yet highly sarcastic at the same time. "Good morning Relena. I didn't see you when I walked in," Heero said, placing the milk, juice, and a couple of glasses on the counter. "I thought I was the only one who got up this early. Didn't you sleep well?" "No I didn't sleep well at all," she said in a soft almost distant voice. "Thank you for asking." She smiled at him from over the counter. "Don't mention it," he replied. "Here let me help you with that." Heero walked around the counter to where Relena was now struggling to lift the mixer up onto the counter from its cabinet. "I can manage it just fine by myself thank you," she said defiantly back to him, as she struggled with the mixer. Pretending not to have heard the comment Heero reached down to help her. "Why are you doing this?" she questioned. "Doing what?" he asked back. "Why are you changing the way you act towards me all of a sudden? When we first met, you wanted to kill me because I knew the truth about your identity. You finally gave up on that, but you still refused to talk to me or be nice to me. Now you're going out of your way to be nice to me. What's going on with you Heero?" Heero was stunned by these words. She had noticed all this and yet he had never admitted these changes to himself, or thought about them for that matter, before now. So she still cared about him after all he had done to her in the past. Even after he abandoned his only friends for almost two whole years, she still loved him. "Yeah, well I've changed a bit over the past two years," he finally answered. "I finally realized that the people I had deemed myself to stained by the blood I had shed to associate with, had been my only friends in my entire life." He smiled at Relena as they stood there holding the mixer between them. "Relena I……." But he never got to finish his thought, for at that moment Quatre walked into the kitchen. "What are you two doing in the kitchen at this hour?" he asked with a yawn. "If you must know I was helping the kitchen staff prepare breakfast," Relena answered with a hint of defiance and sarcasm. "Heero just came in a few minutes ago to get his breakfast and decided to stay and help out as well." "Thank you for helping out but my staff really can take care of it themselves," Quatre stated. "I know they can but I haven't been in a kitchen in years, and I really want to help out if that's ok with you?" Relena said back. "Well I guess it would be nice to have a woman's touch in the kitchen for awhile. If you really want to you can help out. But as for you Heero, come with me I have something I want to talk to you about." Reluctantly Heero followed Quatre out of the kitchen, though the dining room and out into the hall. "How are you holding up Heero?" Quatre asked. "What kind of question is that?" he replied. "I just wanted to know how you were doing that's all," Quatre said quietly. "Well I was doing just fine until you walked into the kitchen," Heero said agitatedly. "Oh my god! I'm so sorry Heero. I had no idea that I walked in on something private like that. You go right back in there and get this finished." "I can't do it now. I lost the strength and courage I had built up when you walked through that door." "I'm so sorry Heero. I promise that I'll look to see who's in a room before I enter it from now on." "Thanks Quatre. I really would appreciate that." Quatre smiled at Heero who returned the smile although it was slightly smaller. The rest of the morning went by fairly quickly for the five friends. After breakfast they all decided to go for a nice swim in the lake. This turned out to be quite fun for all, as they all needed some fresh air and exercise for a change. "Come on Heero I'll race you to the other side," challenged Trowa. "Unless that is you don't think you can make it across." "Just say when and you'll be watching my feet as I beat you without trying." "Oh aren't we the over confident one," Trowa joked. They laughed at each other, then took off across the lake. Heero won easily as he had boasted. "How do you do it?" Trowa asked. "How do you keep in such great shape without working out?" "I do work out. Just not in the same conventional way that you do." "Well you're going to have to show me this method sometime," Trowa said. "Ok. I guess I could do that for you," Heero responded. They rested a bit longer then swam back to the others on the far side of the lake.

  
Chapter 4  


Please let me know what u think of the story and whether or not I should keep writing more.  
Please contact me at mmileusnich@yahoo.com with comments and concerns


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing and Co. They belong to Bandai and Sunrise. This story is for entertainment purposes only. I am not making a profit from it.

Afraid to Love

Written by: Ra|nMan

Chapter Four

"Have a nice race fellas?" asked Catherine. "I really don't think that was much of a race," commented Quatre. "Heero's unbeatable if you ask me," said Trowa. "He barely even put an effort forth and still beat me easily." "What can I say, I'm a natural born swimmer," Heero said with a small laugh. "Well I don't think he's unbeatable." Everyone including Heero turned to see that it was Relena who had made this bold remark. "So how about it Heero. Care to race me?" asked Relena with a gleam in her eye and a slight smirk on her face. "You sure about this Relena?" Heero asked back. "I mean I wouldn't want to have to show you up in front of everyone here." "Is that so?" she retorted. "Well why don't you just see if you can keep up!" And with that, Relena took off across the lake. Heero started to give chase and soon found himself lagging behind. He kicked it into high gear but was unable to gain on Relena, who was speeding along like there was no tomorrow. She made the opposite shore well ahead of Heero and waited as he finished up. "I never knew you were such a strong swimmer," Heero stammered. "Well you never asked me now did you?" she snapped back. "But you never were big on talking, unless it was about your next mission or how to destroy OZ and Romafeller." "Must you always bring up my past in these discussions? Can't you just let me move on? Do you know how hard it is to try and get over what I've done, and how night after night I have nightmares just from thinking about my terrible past? It's like a bad omen that follows me everywhere I go, and will keep on doing so until the day I die." Heero slumped down on the beach and sat there with his eyes closed shut tightly, breathing heavily and rapidly. "I had know idea that the past was such a sensitive subject with you Heero," Relena said, moving over to where he sat, placing a hand on his shoulder to comfort him a bit. "I'm so sorry Heero." "Don't worry about it," he said, brushing her hand off and standing up. "Come on, let's get going back now. The others will wonder what's happened to us soon." "Ok Heero," Relena whispered as Heero dove back into the lake and began to swim back across. 'Dammit! What was I thinking?! I had the perfect opportunity to tell her everything, and I blew it! After that she might not even talk to me anymore.' Heero spent the rest of the day avoiding everyone, especially Relena. Only at dinner was he seen again. "Are you feeling ok Heero?" asked Quatre. "We had wondered where you had gone off to." "I'm fine Quatre," he replied. "I just needed to be alone to do some thinking, that's all." He glanced over at Relena as he said this and met her gaze with his. Quickly he turned away as if it pained him to show Relena he had feelings for her. All through out the course of the meal, Heero found himself simply staring at Relena as if he had never seen her before in his life and was for the first time gazing upon her beauty. He shook himself clear of the image that was ensnaring his mind so he could continue eating. But it happened again, and this time he didn't catch himself in time and Relena saw him staring at her, smiled back and giggled slightly at the expression of pure content on Heero's face. This jolted Heero back to reality and he blushed furiously after realizing what had just happened. This hardly went unnoticed by the rest of the group, all of whom had their own conclusions as to what was going on between Heero and Relena. After dinner, Heero got up and excused himself from the group. "If you'll excuse me, I think I'll turn in for the evening. Those two races really wore me out." "Of course Heero," replied Quatre. "See ya' in the morning Heero," added Catherine. As soon as Heero had left the room, Relena stood and excused herself as well. "I think I'll follow suit. Enjoy the rest of your evening." "Thank you Relena. Have a good night sleep," Quatre said. With both Heero and Relena out of the room, Quatre, Trowa, and Catherine were all free to discuss the situation at hand more freely. "I can hardly believe what's happening," Trowa commented. "I still can't believe I actually witnessed Heero blushing. I have to hand it to you Quatre, your little plan seems to be working." "Thanks Trowa. But the outcome of my little plot has still yet to be seen. It's pretty amazing to stop and think about what's going on. One thing is for certain though, and that is that the Heero we came to know and respect as a pilot and fighter years ago is trying to come to grips with all of the emotions that have been building up inside of him. He never let them out before and now his emotions are finally surfacing, overwhelming him. That's why he's having the nightmares" "I never thought about that," replied Trowa. "That explanation makes a lot more sense than the junk running through my head did," he laughed as he said this. "It also seems as if Relena hasn't fully come to grips with her feelings for Heero either," commented Catherine. "I had noticed that as well Catherine," Quatre interjected. "The two of them seem awfully nervous around each other like they both have something to say to the other, but don't know how to or where to start. I suggest that we leave them to their own ways for the time being, but if they aren't moving in the right direction in a few days then we shall step in. Agreed?" "Agreed," replied Catherine and Trowa in unison. Little did they know that at that moment, both Heero and Relena were making plans of their own on how to best handle the impending situation.

  
Chapter 5  


Please let me know what u think of the story and whether or not I should keep writing more.  
Please contact me at mmileusnich@yahoo.com with comments and concerns


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing and Co. They belong to Bandai and Sunrise. This story is for entertainment purposes only. I am not making a profit from it.

Afraid to Love

Written by: Ra|nMan

Chapter Five

"I wonder what Heero's thinking about right now?" Relena thought aloud to herself. "He seems so distant to me, yet he's talking to me more now than he ever has in the time we've know each other." 'What's on your mind Heero? And why won't you tell me how you feel? I know it may be hard for you to accept your feelings for anyone, let alone me, seeing as how you never express your feelings about anything. Please don't take to long in deciding what you'll do Heero. I don't think I can live like this much longer.' A short way down the hall, Heero lay outstretched on his bed toiling with a jumble of thoughts that were running through his head. Closing his eyes he envisioned a picture of Relena. 'Relena. There's so much that I want to say to you, but I don't know how to say it. I guess there's just no escaping you. The harder I try to get over you, the more your image seems to haunt me. Now, after all this time apart, it still pains me to see you. The memories of my past and how I treated you keep me from being able to express how I feel. I just need a bit longer to come to grips with these feelings, and figure out how to work around the pain. I just hope that she doesn't move on without me. I know I don't have much time on my hands, but Quatre and the others aren't making this any easier. Relena. Please wait for me. I need to be with you.' Torn by his emotions for Relena and the pain of his reckless past, Heero lay awake in bed for hours before he was able to drift into a very restless sleep filled with disturbing dreams and nightmares. Heero awoke twice from startling dreams with a jolt, sweating and breathing hard. 'This can't be happening now. Not while Relena's here. The last thing I need is for her to find out that I've been dreaming about her death.' Putting those thoughts in the back of his mind as best he could, Heero forced himself to think of things a bit happier to try and ease his mind of the troubled dreams and to keep himself from having another nightmare of Relena's death. It seemed to work, for he fell into what seemed to be a much deeper more relaxed sleep, until suddenly, without warning, it started again. This time the dream was even more real than the previous ones. They were all at Quatre's and it was Christmas time. Everyone was standing around Relena, looking very excited. She was showing them all something on her left hand. It was an engagement ring! Heero saw himself in his dream receiving many pats-on-the-back, handshakes, and heart felt congratulations for finally doing what he should have done two years ago. All was going extremely well and everyone was having such a wonderful time when one of Quatre's servants rushed in. He had a very grave and severe look on his face as he made his way to Quatre and whispered something in his ear. "Are you certain about this?" Quatre asked in a shocked and concerned tone. "Quite sure sir," the man replied. Quatre stood up and addressed his friends. "If I could have everyone's attention please," he said quite calmly. "There is a huge sandstorm heading this way extremely fast. There has also been five cyclones spotted within this storm. I now ask you all to quickly and calmly follow me to the underground shelter while there is still time." Everyone became very distressed and alarmed, but stayed calm under Quatre's guidance. They all followed him out of the hall that they were in and down a corridor heading towards the kitchen and dining room. Quatre opened a portion of the wall that was secretly a door and led them down a hidden passageway behind the kitchen. Outside the raging sandstorm was upon them. It hit the palace with a force equaling the combined power of all five gundam suits. Walls were obliterated and the ceilings in several rooms collapsed while others were blown away completely. Quatre broke into a run and everyone followed closely at his heels. They were almost at the door to the shelter when without warning the wall to their left gave way and crashed into the wall on the other side almost blocking the passageway entirely. Quatre, Duo, Heero, and Catherine were trapped on the side closest to the door while Relena, Trowa, and WuFei were blocked on the other side. "Relena!" Heero shouted. "Trowa!" screamed Catherine. "It's all right. We're ok," Trowa yelled back. "There's a small hole in the wall that we are going to try and crawl through to get to you. Just wait there for us." Since WuFei was the smallest, he went through first to make sure that the other two would fit. "It's fine," he shouted back through. "You'll have plenty of room to get through." Relena came next and was almost out when a loud cracking noise was heard from over head. Heero looked up and saw that the ceiling of the hallway was about to give way. "Relena get out of there!" he shouted, rushing to try and pull her to safety. But at that very second the ceiling broke loose and crashed down on the already toppled wall. "No!" Heero screamed. He grabbed Relena's hands and tried to pull her free but she was trapped by the debris of concrete. The crash had opened another hole in the passage and seconds later Trowa was at his side moving rubble to help free Relena. Soon they were joined by the by Duo, WuFei, Quatre, and Catherine. "Leave me," Relena pleaded with them. "I'm not going to make it. Go on and save yourselves. Don't die on account of me, I'm not worth it. Please, I'm begging you. Save yourselves!" "No, I won't leave you Relena. You have to stay with me!" Heero was frantic. He was still moving debris away from the spot where Relena was trapped and had to watch as she slipped from consciousness. "No! Relena! Please don't leave me!" Heero dropped to his knees at the spot where she lay trapped in the passage and cried. The storm continued to rage on all around them and soon Quatre and the others realized that it was needless for them to all die. Facing the facts, as hard as it may have been, Trowa and WuFei seized Heero under the arms and pulled him towards the door. "What are you doing?!" he shouted at them. "Leave me here! I don't want to live anymore!" "Stop it Heero," Quatre yelled back at him. "Think of Relena. She wouldn't want you to die like this. It would be an insult to her memory to just give up. Do you want that Heero?" But he didn't answer. All they heard were the cries of pain as he struggled to break their grip on him. "I'm really sorry about this Heero, but its for your own good," WuFei said and then he hit him at the base of the neck knocking him unconscious. Then they carried him through the door and down into the shelter as Quatre locked them all in. After a few minutes, Heero regained consciousness. Realizing that Relena was not there in the shelter, he lost it. _"NO! RELENA!"_ he shouted as he woke from the dream, heart pounding and his mind racing. Sweat was beading on his forehead and his breath was short and fast. Realizing that he was in his bed and not a storm shelter he lowered his head into his hands and rested his elbows on his knees and just sat there, shaking from the extreme trauma he was experiencing from the dream. 'It was just a dream Heero**,'** he told himself. 'Relena is still alive and well just down the hall in her own room fast asleep.' The stress and severe trauma of the intense dream proved to be to much for Heero to handle and tears filled his eyes as the once seemingly invincible pilot and fighter began to cry for the first time in his life. Heero had been wrong about Relena though, for she was not fast asleep like he thought. She too, was having trouble sleeping for almost the exact same reason. When Heero had screamed out from the horror of the dream, Relena had heard it and jumped up, startled at the sound of her name. Finally, realizing that it was Heero's voice that she had heard, she ran from her room and down the hall to his, flung the door open and stopped in her tracks at the sight she saw before her. "Heero what's the matter?" she asked in a soft and concerned tone. But he didn't answer. He just sat there on his bed and continued to cry. "Oh Heero," she exclaimed. "Please tell me what's wrong. Why did you shout out my name?" Finally, answering through the tears he said, "It was a dream." "I'm so sorry," she replied. "It must have been terrible if it made you shout out for real." She moved as if to sit next to him on the bed to try and comfort him but his next comment made her stop dead in her tracks. "Stay away from me," he said. "Why Heero? What's the matter? Why do you want me to stay away?" "It's not safe for you to be around me. Now please, just go. It's better this way, and I need to be alone." "But Heero," she started but was cut off by Heero mid sentence. "Just go Relena! It's not safe for you to be by me. You can never be around me ever again, so I am going to leave and never come back so that nothing bad will ever happen to you." He got up out of bed and grabbed his bags and began to pack. "What are you talking about Heero? You're talking nonsense. Why are you leaving?" With the joy that had been on Heero's face the past few days gone and a stern, serious expression in its place he replied in a quavering voice, "I'm leaving so that you won't die."

  
Chapter 6  


Please let me know what u think of the story and whether or not I should keep writing more.  
Please contact me at mmileusnich@yahoo.com with comments and concerns


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing and Co. They belong to Bandai and Sunrise. This story is for entertainment purposes only. I am not making a profit from it.

Afraid to Love

Written by: Ra|nMan

Chapter Six

"What are you talking about Heero? What do you mean that you're leaving so I won't die?" Relena asked, totally astonished. "About six months ago I started having these dreams, well nightmares really, and they all end in the same way, with your death. It has to be a sign that if I get to close to you that you will die so I'm leaving so that doesn't happen. I can't let you die because……because I love you. I know that by leaving it doesn't seem like I do but this is the only option that I can think of to keep the one person I care about most alive." Heero's voice trailed off as he turned away from Relena, tears returning to his eyes once again. "Oh Heero. I had no idea that this was happening to you. But surely you don't believe the dreams are true do you?" "I don't know what to believe any more. But one thing is for sure, and that is that the dreams have become stronger since you arrived here. I'm not asking you to try and understand what I must do, but I am leaving and never returning so that you will be safe. I can't bare the thought of you dying because of me," he said. When Heero had finished packing he turned to face Relena again. "Take care of yourself Relena. You have changed my life and I thank you for that. This is probably the hardest thing I have done in my life but it is for the best. Know that I will always love you no matter where I may be. Good bye Relena," he said and bent down and kissed her on the cheek and then left the room. Snapping out of the momentary shock that had over come her, Relena ran out of the room and after Heero. "I can't let you leave Heero. Now that I know how you feel about me I can't lose you again. I have spent the past two years hoping that one day you would re-enter my life, and now that you have I can't let you leave again. I don't care if I die because of you being close to me. I would rather die with you by my side then die without you in my life at all. Please Heero, don't leave me again," Relena said, trying to hold back tears of her own. Heero stopped in his tracks. He had not expected Relena to chase after him like this. 'What do I do now? Do I stay with the woman I love or do I continue running away from my past?' At that moment, for the first time in his life Heero found himself doing not what was required of him but what he felt was best given the circumstance. "I can't stay Relena. As much as I want to and as much as you plead with me I can not stay here with you. I need to be alone for a while. I do not know yet whether I will return or not but I can say this, if I do return it will be to find you." And with that Heero opened the front door and walked out. Relena couldn't believe what had just happened. For one brief minute it seemed that Heero was finally going to let his emotions get the better of him, and then the next minute he was gone. She collapsed in the entryway and began to cry. He was gone again. She had finally found him after two whole years, and now he was gone. Just at that moment Quatre appeared in the hall looking rather concerned. "He's gone isn't he?" Quatre asked quietly. Relena could only nod her head in reply to Quatre's question. "I'll send some of my men out to search for him at once," Quatre said. "He can't have gone far and when we get him back here we will make him see what a terrible mistake he is making." "No," Relena finally said. "Don't force him to do something that he's not ready too. He's going through a lot right now, and he needs to sort everything out on his own. I know what he's going through cause I went through it myself. The nightmares about him dying, the stress, the anxiety of wanting to be with him but not knowing if he would die because I had sought him out to be by his side at all times. Sooner or later he will realize as I have that the dreams are just telling him that he's in love and not that I will die if he gets too close. We will all just have to wait for him to see the truth and return to us on his own time and terms like we did the last time." Quatre nodded in agreement. They would all just have to wait for Heero to return. But how long would it take for him to come to his senses? This was a question that no one, not even Heero himself, could answer. Thanksgiving came and went, and in the weeks approaching Christmas Heero still had not returned. Duo, WuFei, and Sally finally arrived at Quatre's two weeks before Christmas, while no one had heard from Heero in over a month. All hope of his return before the holidays were over was fading fast with each passing day. But miles away Heero had realized what a terrible mistake he had made. He was running away from the only person he had ever loved because of a dream. 'I'm such a fool! Why did I leave her like that!? She probably won't ever talk to me again now. I'd rather be with her even for just a short time then to go on living the rest of my life without her and living with the fact that I had made the biggest mistake of my life by walking away.' So in the weeks preceding Christmas, Heero started his journey back to Quatre's. He only hoped that he would make it there by Christmas and that everyone would still be there, especially Relena. Heero traveled day and night trying to make sure he would make Quatre's in time. 'I just hope she hasn't left yet. What a fool I've been.' Back at Quatre's everyone was in high spirits with the coming of the holiday. Everyone except Relena. No matter what any one said to her she didn't seem to embrace the holiday cheer around her and let go of the fact that Heero was not there with them. Just when she was about to give up all hope on his return, the unexpected happened. It happened to be Christmas day very early in the morning. Everyone was still in bed when there was a knock at the door. One of Quatre's servants opened the door, still yawning to find that Heero was standing in the doorway. "Heero, you're back!" he said with great surprise. "I'll go wake master Quatre and let him know that you are here." "No," Heero replied. "Let them sleep. I'll just go and lie down in an empty room. Do not let them know I am here. When I have rested up a bit I will tell them of my arrival myself." "As you wish Heero," the servant said bowing and taking his luggage. Heero returned to the room that he had been using before he left and found it to be unoccupied. He crashed on the bed and drifted off to sleep almost instantaneously. When Heero finally woke up, it was mid-morning already. He was completely rested and felt like a new person. He got out of bed, stretched, put on some clothes and cautiously opened the bedroom door. Peering outside, he looked to see if anyone was standing in the hallway. Seeing no one, he then proceeded on towards the dining room. Opening the door slightly, he listened to see if he could he what the others were talking about. "I wonder what Heero's up to these days?" Heero recognized that voice in an instant. It was Duo. Duo must have arrived at Quatre's sometime after he had walked out. Before anyone had a chance to make a response to Duo's comment Heero burst into the dinning room and said, "If you want to know what I've been up to, why don't you just ask me." Everyone in the room turned at the sound of his voice and just stared in amazement at his sudden entrance.

  
Chapter 7  


Please let me know what u think of the story and whether or not I should keep writing more.  
Please contact me at mmileusnich@yahoo.com with comments and concerns


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing and Co. They belong to Bandai and Sunrise. This story is for entertainment purposes only. I am not making a profit from it.

Afraid to Love

Written by: Ra|nMan

Chapter Seven

Relena's heart jumped at the site of Heero, but it was Duo who spoke first. "Hey old buddy how ya' doin'?" Duo asked as Heero walked towards the table where the group was sitting. "I've been better," Heero said dryly as he glanced at Relena then quickly turned away. "Quatre, is it to late to get some breakfast from the kitchen?" "Not at all Heero. Just walk in and tell the cook what you want, and I'm sure he'll make it for you." Quatre smiled at his friend, knowing that Heero had come back for one reason and one reason alone. And that reason was sitting next to him. "Thanks Quatre. I'll catch up with everyone after I've eaten." And with that Heero walked into the kitchen. "I'm glad to see that Heero has finally let his feelings win out over his stubbornness," Trowa stated as he got up from the table. "Whadda ya mean by that Trowa?" Duo asked sounding a bit confused. "Why is it that you think he came back?" Quatre interjected. "What is here for him that could have made his feelings get the best of him?" And with that statement everyone turned and looked at Relena. Relena blushed furiously at this and turned away from the gaze of the others. Sensing the awkwardness of the moment WuFei spoke up. "Why don't we all go into one of the sitting rooms and talk while we are waiting for Heero to finish his breakfast?" "That is an excellent idea WuFei," Quatre replied. "I'll join you all in a minute," Relena said as the rest of the group began to leave the dinning room. "That's fine Relena," Quatre said back to her. "You know which room we'll be in when you are ready to join us." Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Heero was ordering his breakfast from the cook. "And two eggs over easy. I think that should do it." "I'll get started right away Heero," the cook replied. Soon Heero had a meal fit for a king in front of him and was about to dig in when Relena walked into the kitchen. "I'm glad to see that you decided to come back Heero," she said as she cautiously walked over to him. "It's been a long time since I last saw you, how have you been?" "Like I said to Duo earlier, I've been better." "And what exactly is that supposed to mean?" Relena asked him. "It means just that. That I've seen better days," he replied coldly. "What's wrong Heero? You seem angry about something. Please tell me what's bothering you." "Nothing is bothering me. I'm still very tired and weary from my travel. Can I eat my breakfast before it gets cold please?" Heero asked. "I promise we'll continue talking when I've finished." "Yes, by all means eat before it gets cold. I'm sorry for interrupting your meal," Relena said in a half-hurt, half-apologetic voice. "Thank you. I won't take long." Heero then hurried through his very large breakfast stopping here and there to ask for something extra. When he was finished, Relena looked utterly appalled. "You're going to make yourself sick eating like that," she said to him as he wiped his mouth clean with a napkin. "I haven't yet, and that is how I eat all the time," he said in reply. "Why do you always have to be so difficult?" Relena retorted. "You always seem to have some sort of comment for everything I say to you. Can you just for once not make a smart remark to something I say?" "I'm sorry Relena. I didn't know that I offended you when I did that. I was just playing around, honestly. If I would have had any idea that doing that would upset you then I would not have done so. Please don't be angry with me." For the first time since they had met all those many years ago, Relena was hearing an actual apology out of Heero's mouth. It was like music to her ears. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She looked up and into his eyes and for once he didn't look away. Something had changed on his face since she had last seen him. When he had left her over a month ago, his face was filled with fear and emotional stress. Now it was filled with concern and kindness. "It's ok Heero. You don't need to apologize for anything. I'm just not used to your newfound sense of humor. It's a pleasant change though," Relena replied back. She still had not taken her eyes off of his, nor he from hers. It was as if they were transfixed on the fact that for the first time neither one of them was running from their feelings. "Relena, I have something I need to talk to you about." "You know that you can always talk to me about anything Heero." "Yes, I know I can, but this I really don't know how to talk about because it is all new to me. I want to say it but I don't really know how to." Heero finally looked away from Relena and stared down at the counter that he was leaning on. "What is it Heero? Just go on and say it." He swung back to face her and looked her deep in the eyes and said, "Relena…….." "Yes?" she questioned with a look of extreme inquisition and hopefulness. She moved closer to him and stared back into his eyes searching for an answer to her own questions. They just stood there in silence for a moment or two and stared off into each others eyes, ever so slowly drawing closer together. Soon their faces were inches apart, and Heero moved forward to finally kiss Relena. They both had closed their eyes and their lips were about to meet when Duo burst into the kitchen. "Hey what's takin' so long in here?" he asked as Relena and Heero straightened themselves quickly. "We were just chatting a bit while I finished up my breakfast Duo. We were just about to come and join you," said Heero quickly. 'Gaaaaahhhh! Why the HELL did he have to show up at that exact moment!? This is starting to become quite annoying. Every time I go to say something to Relena someone interrupts me! I can't take it anymore! If I'm going to do this at all, I'm going to have to do it today.' As he was thinking this to himself he had put his hand into his pocket and was holding the little box in the palm of his hand. His began to lose his nerve again as the interruption had screwed up his concentration and made him lose what little courage he had built up for this. Reluctantly, Heero got up and he and Relena followed Duo out of the kitchen and down the hall to the room where everyone else was waiting for them.

  
Chapter 8  


Please let me know what u think of the story and whether or not I should keep writing more.  
Please contact me at mmileusnich@yahoo.com with comments and concerns


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing and Co. They belong to Bandai and Sunrise. This story is for entertainment purposes only. I am not making a profit from it.

Afraid to Love

Written by: Ra|nMan

Chapter Eight

"Merry Christmas my friends," Quatre said as Duo, Heero, and Relena walked into the room. "Merry Christmas Quatre," Relena replied. "Yea, and thanks for inviting us out ol' buddy," Duo added. The vast sitting room they were in was brilliantly decorated. There was a giant tree in the far corner, and candles glowed on all of the tables. Heero and Relena sat down together on one of the love seats while Duo plopped down in the recliner next to WuFei and Sally. "Wow Quatre. The room looks beautiful," Relena said as she glanced around at all of the decorations. "Thank you Relena," he replied. "I always say that if you're going to do something, make it worth doing." "Well from the looks of it you really made this worth doing," Heero joked. "I'll take that as a compliment coming from you Heero. But enough small talk. As you can all see, I have taken the liberty of getting gifts for all of you." "You didn't have to do that Quatre," Relena and Catherine said in unison. "Yeah, cause we didn't even get anything for you," Duo added "I know I didn't, but I wanted to. You are all my friends, and that is enough a gift for me. I just wanted to show how much I appreciate your friendship." "Your generosity is most commendable Quatre," WuFei said. "I am honored to be considered as your friend, and I think I speak for the rest of the group as well." At these words Quatre smiled and looked around at the others. "Thank you, all of you. But enough of the sentiments," he said as he wiped a small tear from his eye. "Duo since you are the closest to the tree, would you pass out the gifts?" "Not a problem old buddy," Duo replied. As Duo passed out the gifts to everyone, Heero once again put his hand down into his pocket and found the small box it held. "Hey Heero wake up. This one is for you," Duo said as he tossed the package at his friend. "Huh?" he replied for he had been lost in thought and didn't notice the box coming at him until it was too late. The box hit him in the face and Heero let out a small shout. "Hey, watch where you're throwing things you long haired freak." "Well excuse me for having such great aim," Duo said back rather sarcastically. "Yea, well you're not the only one with good aim so catch this." And with that Heero threw the package back at a bewildered looking Duo who took a shot to the head. "Now that was uncalled for," Duo yelled at Heero, who was laughing at what he had just done. "O yea? And just what do you think you're going to do about it?" he joked sarcastically. "I'm going to make you eat this package. Come here you." Duo bolted out of his chair after Heero who had already turned and sprinted out of the room. They ran down the long corridor that headed towards the front door, and as they were about to pass it, Heero and Duo heard something that made them stop dead in their tracks. "Why in the hell is the doorbell ringing?" Duo asked in a shocked voice. "Beats me," Heero replied sounding just as stunned as Duo. "I wonder who it could be," he added. Heero and Duo both went over to the door and Heero peaked through the eyehole. 'OH Shit! What is _HE_ doing here?! Oh man, am I going to get it now.' "Who is it Heero?" Duo asked impatiently. Heero just ignored him, pretending to have not heard his question. Slowly he turned the key and then opened the door ever so slightly and asked, "Can I help you?" "Heero? What are you doing here?" It was Zechs who spoke, and he didn't seem all too pleased to see Heero. "Zechs? Noin? I was going to ask you the same thing." "Quatre had sent us an invitation, and we didn't know whether we would be able to make it or not, so we didn't reply to it. It certainly is good to see you again Heero. You've grown a lot since I saw you last." "It's good to see you again as well Noin. Please come in. The others are all in the main hall. Just leave your things there and Quatre's men will take care of it. If you'll follow us, we'll go back now," he said referring to Duo as he motioned for Zechs and Noin to follow them. 'Why did they have to show up!? Zechs probably still hasn't forgiven me for walking off and breaking Relena's heart like that two years ago. This will make things considerably more difficult.' As the four of them walked into the hall, Duo shouted out, "Hey Quatre, look who we found." "Zechs, Noin, so glad you could make it after all," Quatre said excitedly. "Thank you for the invitation Quatre. It was nice of you to have all of us out here like this," Noin replied. Zechs meanwhile was looking at his younger sister who had not noticed their arrival and seemed to be deep in thought. "It's good to see you again Relena," he said agitatedly. "Milliardo!" she exclaimed, completely shocked to see her elder brother there. "Please don't call me that," he pleaded. "You know I stopped using that name years ago." "What are you doing here?" "The same thing that you are. Noin and I were invited out as well." 'It's been a long time Zechs. Have you been well?" "Yes," he said. "I've been worried about you. It wasn't like you to not return calls or messages. Have you been doing well?" "You know me, I've always been the strong one in the family." But Zechs knew that she was lying to him. He knew that seeing Heero again was eating her away inside. 'Heero, why can't you just be a man about everything and give in to your feelings. We've all known for sometime that you were indeed in love with my dear younger sister. Where's the strength and courage you used to have when you were a pilot? The world will not end as you might fear if you give in to what you are feeling for her. And by the power of the Gundams, if you ever hurt Relena again, you will curse the day you that you spared the life of Zechs Marquise.'

  
Chapter 9  


Please let me know what u think of the story and whether or not I should keep writing more.  
Please contact me at mmileusnich@yahoo.com with comments and concerns


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing and Co. They belong to Bandai and Sunrise. This story is for entertainment purposes only. I am not making a profit from it.

Afraid to Love

Written by: Ra|nMan

Chapter Nine

"So, Heero, what made you decide to rejoin the world of the living?" Zechs asked spitefully. "To be perfectly honest with you Zechs, it was you guys. I finally realized that I had left my only friends with out so much as an explanation as to why I left or if I would be coming back at all." Everyone looked shocked at this statement made by Heero. Were they all hearing things or did Heero just admit that they were all his friends? Quatre quickly glanced around the room and saw that everyone, including Relena, had the same shocked expression on their faces so he must not have been hearing things after all. 'So, Heero really does care about us after all,**'** Quatre thought as a smile broke out on his face. "So then why did you leave in the first place?" Quatre was brought back to reality by Zechs' next question, which was much harsher in tone than the first one. "The answer to that question is not quite as simple as the first one was. There were a number of reasons that added to my leaving, but the main ones were that I had shed too much blood during the wars to associate with such peace minded people, and I had no right to be considered a hero of peace. And the other reason is that I was running from my feelings. I didn't want to believe that I needed friends or that I needed any body for that matter. I was always a loner throughout the war, but what I didn't realize at that point in time was that in times of peace one cannot hope to survive without friendship," he stated firmly. 'Or love for that matter,'he added to himself. "It seems that you have changed from the headstrong, over confident pilot we once all knew into a mature individual while away," Zechs commented. "I'm flattered Zechs. I never knew you to give compliments to anyone, especially me." "Indeed, I have changed some myself over the past two years, and taken on more of the role of that name which I have tried to forget, Milliardo Peacecraft. But enough talk about us, we have a party and friends to enjoy." And with that the group of friends laughed and talked happily until the early hours of the mourning. When Quatre finally glanced at his watch and realized what time it was he sadly ended the festivities. "I hate to do this my friends, but it is getting quite late, or rather quite early in the mourning, so I suggest that we all retire for the night and continue on tomorrow, or today, however you would like to look at it." "Sounds like a great idea to me ol' buddy. I'm kinda bushed myself," replied Duo. Everyone else nodded in agreement and sleepily headed off towards their rooms; everyone except for Heero. He stayed back while everyone else left the room. Relena, sensing that something was wrong, looked back and saw Heero just standing by the window, carelessly gazing out at the night sky. She walked over to him and cautiously placed a hand on his shoulder. "Is something wrong Heero?" she asked softly. "I'm just thinking," he replied. "Thanks for asking though. Come on, it's getting late. I'll walk you to your room." Heero turned from the window and offered his arm to Relena, who just stared back at him in complete awe, then slowly took his arm and walked out of the room. They walked almost all the way to her room in complete silence, when Heero finally spoke. "I had a really fun time tonight, and I'm glad that I was able to share it with my friends, especially you." Heero had stopped walking outside Relena's door and was now staring intently into her deep, cobalt blue eyes. "I had a good time too, Heero. I'm just glad that you came back into my life," Relena said, staring back into his intense, Prussian blue eyes. "Heero, I've been waiting along time to say this to you and I don't think that I can wait any longer. Heero I…" but before she could finish, Heero had bent down and kissed her. At first Relena was shocked by this sudden show of emotion, but quickly regained her composure, and returned his kiss just as passionately. Hoping that the moment would never end, Relena held Heero tight as the kiss she had longed for, for so long continued like a dream come true. But like all good things, it came to an end. Heero slowly broke away and looked down at his one and only love. He tried to speak but no words would escape his mouth until finally Relena held up a finger to his lips and said softly, "Shhh. You don't need to say any thing. I know already. Thank you for finally giving in to your feelings. Goodnight Heero." And with that she reached up and gave him a quick kiss, then walked into her room and shut the door behind her, leaving Heero standing in the hallway grinning from ear to ear. Unknown to Heero and Relena, Zechs had been watching them the entire time, and was shocked, yet completely satisfied with what he had seen. "It's about time Heero," he said to himself quietly. "You are finally turning into the man we all knew you to be years ago, but you were just too stubborn to admit it. It looks like I won't have to teach you a lesson after all. Pity. I was so looking forward to that." With that said Zechs turned and headed for his room where his wife was already sound asleep. Back in the hall, Heero had just come to his senses and started for his room, when he realized what was still in his pocket. 'Ah! I don't believe it! How could I have forgotten about something that important?! I'm such a moron. But then again Zechs' arrival did distracted me some. Speaking of Zechs, I suppose I should probably ask him for Relena's hand before I propose. I'll do it in the morning.' And with that, Heero turned off the light in his room and fell fast asleep in no time.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing and Co. They belong to Bandai and Sunrise. This story is for entertainment purposes only. I am not making a profit from it.

Afraid to Love

Written by: Ra|nMan

Chapter Ten

Unknown to the ten friends as well as Quatre's men, there were 30 armed men approaching the palace. "Okay guys," said their leader. "This is it. We've been scoping the security on this palace for the last two weeks now, and now is the time to move forward with our plan. Hakim, take five men and lead them around to the south entrance. Johnson, take ten to the northwest entrance off the grand ballroom. The rest of us will go in the main gate. Everyone move out and wait for the signal to move in." The band of raiders moved into their positions and waited on their leader's order to move in. Then came the flash of a light, and the raiders moved to the next phase of their plan. All three groups entered the palace successfully and without detection. As the raiders moved about the palace, Heero, being the perfect soldier, woke from his light sleep and sensed something was wrong immediately. Quietly he got up and moved to the door, slowly opened it, and peered out into the hallway. What Heero saw made his blood run cold. Armed men were moving silently up and down the hallway. 'What the hell is going on!? Who are these men and what are they doing in Quatre's mansion? This is not good. I need to inform the others and the guards but I must do it with out being seen.' Heero went to the dresser and pulled out his old, green tank top and black shorts, dressed, and made his way silently into the hall. Coming to a corner he stopped to look around when a raider came around the corner. Heero kicked him in the neck, then put a hand over his mouth and put his arm tight around the intruders' neck until he had passed out. 'Great. What do I do with him now? If he's one of their lookouts I'm in trouble.' He dragged the unconscious man into an empty room, took his radio, then looked around to make sure the coast was clear before moving on. A little farther on down the hall the leader and two of his henchmen came to the room where Relena was sleeping. Upon entering the room, the leader stopped and looked at Relena closely, then realized who she was. 'Oh my God! I don't believe it! It's Queen Relena! This job is getting better all the time. If we kidnap her we could get a huge amount for a ransom! This is almost too good to be true!' Speaking quietly, the leader called into his radio. "Hakim. Get over to my position pronto. I've just walked into the room of the former Queen of the World. Yeah that's right, Relena Peacecraft is here in this very palace." At that same time, Heero had finally made his way to the security control room to find the guards had all been knocked unconscious. 'Great**,'** he thought to himself. 'I'll see if I can locate some of the other guards to alert them. That is if they haven't been knocked out already.' Then he heard a voice on the radio he had taken from the intruder he had knocked out. "Hakim. Get over to my position pronto." "What is it boss?" "I've just walked into the room of the former Queen of the World." "What?! Relena Peacecraft is here!?" "Yeah that's right, Relena Peacecraft is here in this very palace." 'OH NO! They've found Relena's room! I've got to warn the others and get over there!' Heero's heart froze. Frantically he looked for a clear way to get to Relena's room when the door opened behind him. With the reflexes of a trained assassin, Heero rounded on the person entering the control room. Then, realizing whom it was, Heero stopped his attack in mid swing. "Rashid! I'm so glad that it's you," Heero said, sounding rather relieved. "Quick we have to alert the others. There are about 30 armed men in the palace and they've found Relena." "What!?" Rashid looked utterly shocked at these words. "They can not be allowed to harm Vice Foreign Minister Peacecraft. The people of the E.S.U.N. still consider her to be a great symbol of our lasting peace." "I know Rashid," Heero said dryly. "We must find away to get to the other pilots and alert them." "Follow me Heero. I know of a way that we can go without being detected." "…" "This palace is full of secret panels and passageways. We will use them to alert Master Quatre and the rest of the former Gundam pilots. Quickly, this way." Rashid pressed what looked like an ordinary screw on a light switch, and all of a sudden the wall opposite Heero began to move. "Hurry, we haven't much time." Rashid and Heero sprinted down the passage, when suddenly Rashid stopped and pulled a level opening away into someone's bedroom. Running to the side of the bed Rashid roused the person in the bed. "Master Quatre wake up. There are intruders in the palace." "What? How can this be Rashid?" "I do not know master, but we need to alert your friends and quickly resolve this dilemma." "Agreed. Quickly, follow me." "Quatre, you and Rashid go ahead and warn the others. I'm going after Relena," Heero said sternly. The serious look that was always on his face during the war was now back, accompanied by a savvier look of concern and fear. "Ok Heero. The fastest way to Relena's room is back down that hallway then make a left at the end. Please be careful Heero." "Same to you Quatre, and good luck." And with that Heero turned and sprinted back the way he had came leaving Quatre and Rashid to alert the others. "Quickly Rashid. We don't have much time. I trust in Heero's abilities but it has been a long time since he's had to use them. We need to get to the others, and go and help Heero protect Relena." "As you wish Master Quatre." The two of them raced down the dark corridor towards Trowa and Catherine's room. Once there, they quickly and quietly woke Trowa and Catherine. "Trowa wake up. There are dangerous men in the palace." "What? How did they get in." "No time to explain. We need to get the others and help Heero." "Right. Let's move." Soon, Duo, WuFei, Sally, Zechs, and Noin joined them. "Ok. We need a plan of attack," whispered Quatre. "Here's what we'll do. Duo, you go out in the hall and act like you're on your way to the bathroom. When the lookouts spot you run back here and we'll jump them. Got it?" "Yeah, yeah I got ya'" Duo yawned back. Meanwhile, Heero was slowly making his way to Relena's room on the other side of the palace. The grouping of armed men was becoming even tighter as he neared his target. Twice he was nearly caught, but managed to overcome his assailants. 'Only two more corners to go,' he thought to himself as he quickened his pace. But he had to stop short of the next corner when a shout rang out behind him. "Hey, you there! Stay where you are!" 'Oh shit. I've been spotted.' Stopping in the middle of the hall, Heero waited for the men to move in on him. "So you thought you'd try and go sneaking around us to save the girl huh? Well looks like you couldn't even save yourself," said the intruder, giving a cold mirthless laugh. "You have no idea who you are up against," Heero muttered back. "What was that?" "Hn." Moving at blinding speed, Heero took out the men one by one until they were all unconscious. "They'll never learn," he said to himself. Just then an ear-shattering scream pierced the night. 'OH NO!' "I'm coming Relena!" he shouted, then tore off to her room. "Screaming will do you no good Queen Relena. Even if you did wake any one they would have to get passed my men first, and it isn't likely that will happen," sneered her assailant. "That's what you think." "HEERO! LOOK OUT!" "What?! How did you get passed my men?" "It doesn't matter. Move away from the Vice Foreign Minister before I am forced to kill you." "Is that so? Hakim, kill this man at once." "Yes sir! You heard the man. FIRE!" Heero jumped and rolled out of the way of the shots, grabbed a chair and threw it at Hakim. Hakim ducked and it hit the three men behind him, knocking their guns out of their hands. Hakim glanced back just in time to see Heero running at him, but it was too late to stop him. Heero struck Hakim square in the jaw with his right fist knocking him off his feet, leaving him unconscious. "Stop right there Mr. Hero, or the girl gets it." Heero froze in his tracks. "Just as I thought. Always so quick to eliminate a threat, but when it comes to making sacrifices to stop the threat completely, you can't go through with it. So touching. But I'm afraid this is where it ends. Goodbye Mr. Hero." The assailant moved to pull the trigger, but Heero was faster. He rushed forward and struck the man in the stomach, making him stagger backwards. Heero moved in to keep him from shooting again, and a struggle broke loose for control of the gun. "Haha! And not it ends," shouted the assailant, breaking away with the gun in his hand. But Heero was far from giving up. He rushed forward again, but this time the man got a shot off, but was immediately struck by Heero. The assailant fell down, knocked out cold. Heero turned to Relena, looking concerned and relieved. "Relena are you alright?" "Yes I'm fine. What about you? Did you get hit?" He didn't answer. "Heero are you ok? Please answer me," Relena questioned in a rather fearful voice. But before she could utter another word, Heero staggered back a couple of steps, then fell to the ground, blood oozing visibly from his left side. "HEERO!" shouted Relena as she rushed to his side. "Heero, please don't be dead. Please speak to me. You need to keep talking." "Relena," he breathed. "Relena I wasn't strong enough. I have failed you." "No that's not true Heero. You have never failed me." "Relena….." Just then Quatre and the others rushed in. "Oh no, we're too late!" he exclaimed. "Hurry we need to get him to a hospital," Relena urged. "He can still make it." "Please, Relena, leave me. I'm not going to make it. By the time you get me to a hospital, I will have lost too much blood. Be strong Relena. I…..Love…..You." "No Heero, don't leave me." "Guys let's move. He needs to get to a hospital." As Heero swayed closer to the edge of death, the 9 friends tried frantically to stop the bleeding, while all hope seemed to be lost like dust in the wind. It was not too far to the hospital, but the bleeding had not slowed, and Heero was showing signs of shock. An x-ray was taken and showed that the bullet was still lodged in his side, very close to his heart. He was rushed into surgery, as the bullet need to be removed immediately. As time wore slowly on, all the nine friends could do was wait and hope for a miracle.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing and Co. They belong to Bandai and Sunrise. This story is for entertainment purposes only. I am not making a profit from it.

Afraid to Love

Written by: Ra|nMan

Chapter Eleven

While the surgery had been successful in removing the bullet from his side Heero still showed no signs of recovery. It had been two weeks since the assault on Quatre's palace had taken place and the nine friends were beginning to lose what little hope they had. Everyone except Relena. No matter what anyone said to her she remained by Heero's bedside day and night, only leaving to eat occasionally. "I know you can hear me Heero. Please find away to come back to me. I need you here with me Heero. Follow the sound of my voice and come back home." It was the same everyday. Quatre and the others were beginning to become worried about her. "I wish we could help her. She can't keep on going like this. She never rests and she hardly ever leaves his side. If it doesn't stop soon she'll….." "Quatre would you stop thinking like that. Relena's too strong to let something like this get the better of her." "I don't know Trowa. She seems to be taking this harder than the rest of us have," Catherine stated. "It's hard seeing the one you love suffer, especially after finding out they love you in return. And you have to admit we all thought Heero was practically invincible. He's bounced back from worse injuries than this so it comes as a real shock to see him out of commission for so long." Quatre, Trowa, and Catharine all turned to see that Zechs had joined them. "I didn't hear you come in Zechs," Quatre said. "Your sister seems to be taking this rather hard." "I'm not too worried," replied Zechs. Everyone stared at him in shock. "I'd be more worried if she wasn't showing any concern at all. Still I would be happier if she left the room more often. Has there been any change in his condition?" he asked glancing over at where Relena sat next to Heero's bed. "None. His condition remains the same as it did when he came out of surgery. We're all beginning to wonder if he'll ever wake up again." Quatre didn't bother to hide the fear in his voice. It was true. That very thought had crossed the minds of eight of the nine remaining companions. Just then Duo, WuFei, and Sally arrived. "How is he doin'," Duo asked. "The same as before Duo. I thought you were taking the day off Sally?" Quatre asked, sounding mildly concerned. "I was going to but WuFei so kindly reminded me of how many times that young man lying on the hospital bed over there saved my life, so now I'm just trying to return the favor." "Yea but even doctors need rest Sally," Catherine pointedly stated. "Don't you guys go worrying about me now. Save all of your worry for Heero. He needs it more than I do. I'll see you all later tonight. I have some tests I need to run." And with that Sally left the room and headed down the hall to the lab. "WuFei why didn't you let her stay home and rest?" Catherine asked angrily. "Listen woman, I'm just as concerned about her as you are but right now we have more pressing matters on our hands. Heero needs the best medical attention he can get and she is the best." "Well it looks like WuFei's manners haven't changed one bit now have they," Duo chimed in sarcastically. "Shut up you Baka." "Really original Wu-man. It's not like I haven't heard that one eight hundred times before." "Keep it up Maxwell and this will be the last time you hear it!" "Enough you two. Just cut it out ok? You guys fight like an old married couple so why don't you just hurry up and announce your engagement already," stated Quatre. "We have enough to worry about with out having to play babysitter to the likes of you. We need to concentrate on a way to get Relena out of this hospital room more often. Maybe the fresh air and change of scenery will help to cheer her up a bit and take her mind off things for a while." "Sorry Quatre," replied Duo and WuFei in unison. "It's all right. Just try not to do it again. It brings back to many old memories," Quatre said turning his head to look over at Relena and Heero once again. "Just looking at them brings such pain to my heart such as I haven't felt since the days of the Gundams. I just wish I could easy their pain in some way for it was the two of them who saved my soul during the wars." "Just being there to support them is enough Quatre. Your strength gives them strength. Your kindness helped to save us more than you can realize. Without kindness the peace we live in could have never been attained and we would all probably be dead right now," Trowa remarked. "I know Trowa but I still wish I could do more." "Thank you for your concern Quatre but I'm really quite fine." They all looked up to see that Relena had moved away from Heero's bed and was standing next to them. "Hi Relena. How are you feeling today?" Catherine asked. "I'm feeling quite well thank you. I didn't mean to, but I overheard you talking about me. It's really none of your business how I spend my life. I can't believe that any of you would stand here in my very presence and discuss how to get me out of this room or how to cheer me up. Quite frankly the only thing that will cheer me up is Heero back on his feet but nobody but me seems to think that will happen do they?" Everyone was taken aback a Relena's sudden out burst. They were all aware that she had a viscous temper when someone or something got on her bad side but none of them had ever experienced it except Heero and Zechs. "Now if you will please be so kind as to leave, I'd like to be alone for awhile." And with that, Relena turned and walked back over to be by Heero's bedside again. "Now what do we do Quatre?" Catherine asked seeming quite alarmed. "We give her her space. There's nothing else we can do at the moment." So with one last look at Relena the rest of the group slowly filed out of the room until at last she was alone with Heero again. 'I know they mean well and all but I just can't leave his side. Not now. Not ever. He's been there for me so much even though I never really saw him there protecting me. Always hiding in the shadows he was.' Relena got up and slowly walked over to the window and gazed out at the stars like Heero had done all those many weeks before the accident. 'Please come back to me soon Heero. I don't think I could go on living without you here.' She went and sat back done by his bed and placed her head on his chest, and held his hand in hers. 'This feeling, inside me finally found my love I've finally broke free. No longer, torn in two, I'd take my own life if I lost you.' Her eyelids felt heavy on her face yet she strained to keep them open. Fighting the exhaustion that was slowly creeping in was becoming more difficult until at last it took over. Soon she was fast asleep; her body finally getting the rest she had deprived it of for the past week. In her dreams she saw Heero awake and fully recovered from his injuries. The two of them were laughing and running through the gardens at the Peacecraft mansion. It almost seemed too real to be a dream. Then she saw herself trip over something in the dream while looking back at Heero, and hit her head. Heero rushed over to where she was. "Relena. Relena are you ok? Relena please answer me. Relena." It was as if he was really right there calling out her name. He sounded so close yet he couldn't be. This was only a dream and the real Heero was still unconscious in a hospital bed. Yet… "Relena." There it was again and it sounded even closer than before. "Relena please wake up," his voice said. But this time it was followed by someone squeezing her hand, someone outside the dream. "Relena it's me, Heero. Please wake up Relena." "Heero? Is that really you?" she said sleepily, struggling to open her eyes. "Yes Relena it really is me. Are you ok? You don't look so good," he replied sounding quite concerned. But then Relena fully opened her eyes and realized that she wasn't dreaming any more. "OH HEERO! You're awake!" she screamed, throwing her arms around his neck "Oh my god I was so worried about you! I didn't think that you were ever going to wake up again." "Easy Relena its ok now, I'm here. But could you please loosen your grip a little. You're choking me." "Oh my god I'm so sorry Heero!" she exclaimed, releasing her hold around his neck and looking quite embarrassed. "It's ok. I understand. You've been worried about me while I was lying here in my catatonic state not knowing whether or not I was going to make it. But really the only reason I'm awake right now is because of you. You led me back. Just the sound of your voice led me home." "What are you saying Heero?" "I'm saying that you are the reason that I am alive right now." Relena just stared at him blankly. No words escaped her half-open mouth. She flung herself onto Heero and just started crying. She held nothing back. The tears just came and came not seeming to want to end, and all the while Heero just held her and let the tears flow. Finally when she had regained her composure somewhat she turned to Heero and said, "Don't you ever leave me like that again. I'm not sure I could take it." "I'm not going anywhere Relena. Here is where I am and here is where I will stay." And with that said he wiped the tears from under her eyes and kissed her softly.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing and Co. They belong to Bandai and Sunrise. This story is for entertainment purposes only. I am not making a profit from it.  
  
Afraid to Love  
  
Written by: Ra|nMan  
  
Chapter Twelve  
  
"And how are we doing today Mr. Yuy?" Sally asked sarcastically as she walked into Heero's room. "Hn," was the only reply she received from him. "I'll take that as a sign of recovery," she said, but mostly to herself. "I'm not that grateful that you have regained your stubbornness, but at least you are making some progress." Heero scowled at her. He hated the fact that he was being made to stay in the hospital while he recovered. It was a huge blow to his pride. Never before had he needed to depend on any one else, and now having to sit back and let other people tell him what to do was worse than facing off against Zechs and Epion during the war. "Ok hotshot let's go. It's time for your therapy." He grimaced as Sally said these words to him. Due to the loss of blood and the position the bullet had been in, he had loss some of the mobility in his left side. Everyday for the past three weeks he had been going and doing those stupid exercises to get him back to normal. Well, normal for Heero any ways. "Sally must we keep going over this," he said in protest. "I'm perfectly fine. I don't need to do any more therapy." "Heero if I say that you still need therapy, then you still need therapy. And in case you haven't noticed you can barely stand let alone walk. So until you're strong enough to walk out of here by yourself, you're not going anywhere." Heero started to glare at her back from his spot on the bed. "And don't even think about giving me your death glare because it won't work," she added firmly. 'How did she know that I was going to give her my glare?' Heero was shocked and angered even more by the fact that Sally had known he was glaring at her. "Come on Heero. The sooner we get started the sooner you can go back to sulking" "Who said I'm sulking?" "Call it what you will. Now let's get going." "Hn." Reluctantly Heero got into the wheelchair, with some difficulty, and was soon being pushed by Sally to the physical therapy room. After about three hours or more, Sally finally called out, "Ok Heero, I think that's enough for today." "I want to keep going." "You've done enough for one day. We don't need you over exerting yourself. We're are trying to get your strength back not work it away." "Sally I know how much I can handle and I want to keep going. Just give me two more hours. Please," he asked with such sincerity in his voice that Sally just stared at him in amazement. "Fine. Two more hours and that's it." 'This guy never ceases to amaze me. Any normal person wouldn't be half as far along in recovering from an injury like that as he is. But still he's not the same person I once knew in the war. He's much kinder for one. Relena's a lucky girl.' Sally smiled to herself at her last thought, then turned back to monitor Heero's progress. "Ok Mr. Perfect Soldier, that's enough for today. For someone who hates therapy as much as you do, you sure do put an effort into it." "Well you said it yourself. When I can walk out on my own I can leave, so I might as well put an effort into getting out of here. And don't mock me with that perfect soldier crap any more. I no longer have a right to be called that." "What are you talking about Heero?" "I almost failed my mission. Relena could have been killed because I'm not the person I once was. I wasn't strong enough and look what happened because of it." Heero turned his eyes to the floor. The thought of Relena being killed was almost too much for him to bear. "You're not making any sense Heero. Relena is alive and well because of what you did. Your actions saved her life. And as for this not being strong enough crap, any normal person in your condition would even be half this far to recovery," Sally stated with a little extra emphasis. "Relena deserves someone stronger and more reliable. My actions almost got us both killed. I don't deserve to be with her. She's too kind and too pure to be tainted by me." Heero said all of this without taking his eyes from the floor. "Did that gunshot affect your brain or something Heero? The two of you were meant for each other. Relena's strength lies in her love for you. Can't you see that? Or are you just too stubborn to admit it? Don't go turning your back on her now that you have finally given in to." But Sally was cut-off in mid sentence as the door opened and Relena peered cautiously into the therapy center. "Sally, Heero? Are you in here?" "We're over here Miss Relena. Actually we were just about to leave weren't we Heero?" she asked him cheekily. "Hn" "Well it seems like he's back to himself. Is he giving you much trouble Sally?" Relena asked, knowing all too well what the response would be. "Heero? Give us trouble? Where would you get and idea like that?" responded Sally with an extra hint of sarcasm. "Oh let's just say I know from experience," Relena responded. Heero just ignored the two women as he began to wheel himself out of the therapy center. Stopping outside the door Heero winced at the pain he started to feel. 'Dammit. I'm over doing it. At this rate I'll never get out of here,' he said to himself disgustedly. Placing his head in his hands he sighed. 'What am I doing? I've never been slowed down this much before. Have I really gotten that soft over the years?' But his thoughts where interrupted as Sally and Relena came out into the hallway. "Relena would you mind seeing that Heero gets back to his room? I have some more work I need to get done." "Not at all Sally. I'll make sure he gets back ok." With that Sally turned and walked the other way down the hall leaving Heero and Relena alone. "So Sally tells me that you're making a lot of progress with your therapy," Relena said thoughtfully. "Hn," was all she got in reply. "Look Heero I know this is a tough time for you and its even harder since you've never experienced anything like this before but that doesn't mean that you have to treat me like this. Ever since the day you woke up you've become more and more distant to me acting like nothing ever happened between us. But the truth of the matter is that nothing has changed since that night I almost lost you. You here me. Nothing has changed." Relena looked on the verge of tears. Heero was stunned. He had all but ignored Relena for the past three weeks yet she still loved him. She made as if to turn and run but Heero caught her by the arm and pulled her back. "Relena I'm sorry. I've been going through a lot lately and I didn't mean to take it out on you. You are the last person I would want to hurt. It's just that this injury has put a new perspective on my life. I'm not as indestructible as I once thought I was. Years ago an injury of this caliber would have slowed me down for maybe three days at most and now I've spent the better part of three weeks in a hospital doing therapy. Its something that I'm just not used to." "Oh Heero. I know how hard this must be but you can't just give up. We're all here to help you make it through whether you want the help or not." "I know you mean well and all Relena but I think it might be better if you stopped wasting your time on me." "What are you saying Heero? I would never consider anytime spent with you wasted," Relena replied with a hurt look on her face. "That's not what I meant," he stated. "Then what did you mean Heero?" "I meant that you should stop coming to see me. I know this is hard for you to hear but I'm not the one for you Relena. You're too pure and kind to spend the rest of your life with someone like me. You deserve much better than what I can give you." Heero's gaze failed to meet hers as he said this. Relena was in shock. "You can't be serious Heero. Don't you think that I can decided for myself who I deserve to be with? I don't care what has happened in your past Heero. I only care about the man I see sitting here before me, who doesn't even have the courage to look me in the eye as he tells me to move on," Relena stated defiantly as the tears started to form in her eyes. Heero raised his eyes till he met hers and stared deep down into those eyes that he used to get lost in and said, "Relena it's time for you to move on. It just wasn't meant to be. I'm sorry." And with that he spun the wheelchair and headed down the hall to his room, leaving Relena crying and alone outside the therapy center door. 'What the hell am I doing?! Why couldn't I just let her down nice and easy huh? Why did I have to go and be an ass about it? Why does everything have to be so hard?' All night long Heero battled with the thoughts in his head. Sleep didn't come easy for him that night, and when it did come it was laden with harsh dreams even nightmares like the ones he'd had before. Upon waking from a particularly vivid dream Heero finally came to his senses. 'What a fool I've been. Letting go the best thing that has ever happened to me just because I don't know how to deal with these feelings of anxiousness and anxiety over a set back that has taken me by surprise. Shouldn't love be a bit more important than my own pride? God I'm such an arrogant fool. I guess there's only one thing I can do to change this.' With his mind made up Heero got out of bed with a little trouble and quickly dressed. Despite his assessment that he had over done it with the therapy he felt better than he had in weeks. The pain was all but gone and he could walk on his own again. 'Well Sally said that when I could walk on my own again I could leave. So I guess it's time to check out then.' He went to the window and opened it. The breeze from outside was soft and warm. 'Good night for traveling,' he thought to himself with a slight smile. 'Relena I'm on my way.' And with that he vanished from the room. Miles away at the Peacecraft mansion Relena was having troubles of her own with sleeping. 'Why do I care for him so much when he continues to hurt me like this? I just keep letting myself get drawn back in only to be knocked back down again when he decides that he doesn't want me. Why do I keep putting up with it? Oh Relena you need to get a grip on yourself. Now I'm talking to myself. That's just great. He's got me going crazy.' She got up from her bed and walked to her dresser where she stopped and picked up the bear that Heero had given to her for her birthday years ago. "Heero," she sighed. Staring off out of the balcony window she sank to her knees and began to cry again. "Oh Heero why can't you just let go and give in to what you feel for me?" "Because I don't know how to and I'm afraid of what will happen," came a reply from out on the balcony. "Heero?" Relena asked startled. Sliding out of the shadows Heero stepped into her room and knelt beside her on the floor. "Relena I'm so sorry," he started. He took her in his arms and held her as he continued. "I've been such a fool lately. Pushing aside the things that matter to me the most while my pride got in the way because of a situation out of my control. And I hurt the one person I care about the most. I know that you don't have to accept my apology and that you don't even have to listen to it but I just needed to tell you how much I really do love you. Not a day has gone by since I woke up that I haven't thought about you or longed to be near you. And yet I pushed you away each time I saw you cause I couldn't bare for you to see me the way I was." Heero stood up and pulled Relena with him as he did so. "I am so sorry for what I have put you through and the way that I have acted towards you. I can barely live with myself knowing that I consciously hurt the one person I care about more than anything else in the world. A person that I care about so much that I was willing to give my own life so that she could go on living. A person that I could see myself growing old with and spending the rest of my life with. A person that would make me the happiest man in the world if she would be my wife." As Heero said these last few words he got down on one knee and looked up at Relena, both of them with tears in their eyes and running down their faces. "Relena Peacecraft, would you make me the luckiest and happiest man and the world, and marry me?" 


End file.
